six. whole. months.

everything about you

Oh, Little One.  How I love you.

I love the way you feel against my chest, your fuzzy head beneath my chin and your face burried in the crook of my neck.  I love the way your tiny little fingers touch my face and hold on to my hand.  I love how you cling to my shoulder and take in the sight of all the world from the safety of mum's arms.  I love your chubby thighs, wrist rolls, and squishy cheeks that push your little lips into an almost constant pucker. I love everything about you.

I love how you are finding your voice.  Your squeals and jibbers fill the house with joy.  I love it when you speak out your thoughts, even though I don't know what you are saying.  I love it when you say "dadadada" when you're carefree (and perhaps slightly bored) and "mamamama" when you need comfort.  And, oh, do I love your giggles (and especially the sighs after the giggles).  I love how you respond to my voice with contented little noises.  I love everything about you.  

I love you with your daddy.  Especially with your daddy.  I love how you two find each other so incredibly funny.  I melt when I see you and Daddy reading a Bible story together.  I die when I watch you cuddle.  I love that you have no fear in his arms, and that he will always protect you.  I love how strong he is and how weak you are.  I love everything about you.

I love how you're learning to entertain yourself with moving around.  I love how determined you are to discover every facet of your home. I love the fact that nothing is safe from your unsatisfiable curiosity.  I love it when you tug my pantleg and give my toes sloppy wet kisses.  I love how proud you are when you accomplish something new.  I love everything about you.


I love how you should be sleeping right now, but we're at Grandma and Grandpa's house and they can't possibly let you lie awake alone.  I love that you're sitting on Grandpa right now and patting him affectionately.  I love that you have all your grandparents wrapped around your little finger.  I love everything about you.


Oh, Little One.  Today you are six months old.  You've brought me so much joy, and there is yet so much more to come.  My Little One.  How could I love you any more?

big boy

Judah is a big boy now.

Didn't you hear?

He sits up all by his lonesome.

reason for living

Ever since the Cuteness was born, I've felt like many of my talents have been put aside so I can take good care of my favourite little person (note the use of the word little. My husby is my favourite big person--he's a bit less demanding).  I'm really not bitter, though.  Motherhood is a joy that not all women have the privilege of experiencing, and I'm far to aware of this fact to take it for granted.  I trust and hope that God will always set me straight when I start to view it as just another task to complete.  He already has.

This may be a grossly over-stated fact, but life changes when a baby comes into the world.  It's not just the getting up in the middle of the night to change a screaming baby's diaper.  It's not the stiff neck, the sore back, or the dirty laundry.  The biggest change comes when you realize that there is another living being that depends solely on you for everything.  I'm not just talking food and a clean diaper, but love, discipline, language, manners, opinions, attitudes, dispositions, beliefs, experiences, and encouragement.  An innocent little child is a perfect and terrifying mirror to hold up to oneself.

A few days ago as I was attempting to get Judah ready for the day, I turned my back on him to riffle through a stack of his shirts for just the right one to complete his little outfit.  His happy little coos made me smile, and I momentarily forgot that my baby can roll. As I turned around, I caught sight of my happy baby boy slipping off the bed and onto the floor.  My heart jumped into my throat as I whisked him up into my arms.  The tears flowed freely as I kissed his head and said "I'm sorry!  I'm so sorry..." over and over again.  His frantic cry seemed to say "I thought you were going to watch me.  Always!" My poor, sad, bewildered little child.

Thankfully, there were no long-term consequences for my negligence, and hardly any short-term consequences except for two or so minutes of very sad tears.  My action (or lack thereof), though inexcusable, was easily redeemed.

As a parent and a follower of Christ, I'm charged with the task of correctly caring for my child--that will definitely include how I watch over his spiritual welfare.  Just as, at this point in time, I need to watch Judah with extreme care to keep him from harm unbeknownst to him, I need to show discernment in what influences I allow into the home (and when I say "I", I'm not excluding Joey from the task).  This is the way I see it: as of now, Judah is ignorant of the evils of the world.  He doesn't yet know what could hurt him, and he doesn't yet have a concept of right and wrong.  I know it's imposible for me to keep him entirely from all bad things, but what I can do is help teach him the skills he needs to make right choices.  Joey and I are responsible for that, to be sure.

I don't want to be so slack about "this whole discernment thing" that Judah comes to have a wrong view of who God is and what His holiness actually means.  We need to be as shrewd as snakes, but as harmless as doves.  The worst possible end to life on earth would be if my son was left, poor, sad and bewildered, asking, "Why didn't you tell me? I thought you were going to watch me.  Always!"  while I recall a lifetime of lukewarm faith, complacency, and compromise.

So, getting back to my first thought about setting aside talents, I've decided that it is no bad thing to be devoted to my family.  If I can be known for anything, I would rather have it be for how I loved my family rather than how I  could decorate my home, or complete DIY projects, or knit beautiful sweaters, or paint beautiful pictures, or make beautiful music.  Those are all secondary to the joy and privilege of being a mother.   May I never find this privilege burdensome, never lose sight of my Saviour, and NEVER stop fearing the Lord.

muffins for the win!

Anyone who knows me will know that baking is something I absolutely love to do.  It's one branch of culinary expertise that I can actually bless Joey in.  I can cook few meals that can even compare to his amazing cooking abilities, but baking?  THAT I can do.

Enter these muffins.

I know.  They are beautiful.  And totally not my invention.  I happened to stumble upon a pretty little blog by Joy the Baker.  All it took was for me to read over the recipe, and I was sold.

Are you interested?  Then, happily I present to you

Browned Butter Blueberry Muffins
makes 12 glorious muffins

7 Tablespoons unsalted butter
1/3 cup whole milk
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups fresh blueberries

For the topping:
3 Tablespoons cold, unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
3 1/2 tablespoons sugar

Put a rack in the upper third of the oven and preheat oven to 375 degrees F.  Line muffin pan with paper or foil liners.

Melt butter in a small saucepan over medium heat.  Keep an eye on the butter.  Melt and cook down the butter until little brown bits appear in the pan.  The crackling will subside and the butter will begin to go brown fairly quickly after that.  Keep a close eye.  Remove from heat.

Whisk milk, egg, egg yolk, and vanilla until combined.  Add the brown butter and stir to combine.

Whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl.  Add milk and butter mixture all at once and stir gently to combine.  Gently but thoroughly fold in the blueberries.

Divide the batter among the muffin cups and spread evenly.

To make the topping combine all of the ingredients in a bowl and rub together with your fingertips until crumbly.  Sprinkle evenly over the batter in the cups.

Bake until golden and crisp and a wooden pick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean, about 18-20 minutes.  Cool in pan on a rack for 15 minutes then remove from the pan.  Serve warm or at room temperature.

And there you have it!  So simple, but so good.

I must tell Jesus

There are a many things I enjoy doing, such as knitting, painting, drawing, and baking.  The common theme among these things? Creating.  I love to create, and in this way reflect my Creator.  My gifts aren't meant to be wasted on myself, but used in such a way that brings glory to God.

Last night I had a conversation with one of my closest friends.  Funny, even though we admit that our relationship is awkward at times and that we're often intimidated by each other, she is still one of the dearest people to my heart.  I love her for how much she loves Jesus and seeks to live for Him.  This talk was long overdue. "I just want to live for Jesus.  I just want to be faithful" she says to me.  "I must tell Jesus how much I love Him."  Her heart is so broken for her Lord.

Why am I not living out of love for Jesus?  Giving all that I do and have to Him?  It is a daily struggle.  I wake up in the morning, begrudgingly roll out of bed, and start my day with complaints most of the time.  When I'm not living for Jesus, everything seems so futile.  Cleaning the house? pointless.  Relating with people? unnecessary.  What have I got to live for if not living for Him?

That conversation last night was monumental.  I told my friend how God had used her to touch my heart and point me back to Christ.  I wasn't surprised at all that she was completely unaware of having done so.  You see, when God uses us, He doesn't blow the trumpets and announce our good deeds to the world.  He says, "Andrea, have faith.  I will do what I set out to do. Period."

I woke up this morning with purpose.  I must tell Jesus how much I love Him.  First, I used my gifts and made muffins, and now I'm about to sit down and soak in His word.  I don't do it often enough.  Don't look at me like that.  I'm not perfect, and you know it.

I actually started this post to put up pictures of my amazing muffins, but I guess the plan changed.  I'll post some pictures some other time.  Right now I need to talk to Jesus.

grandpa's influence

in which I don't have a point

I'm sorry that I haven't posted in so long, especially since I had been posting like crazy previous to this silence.

It's been just one of those weeks--not in a bad way, though.  The revelation extreme heat has zapped nearly all of my energy, and what I had left I've used up to look after my baby and slowly tackle the family laundry monster.  It's not like I've been neglecting it altogether, but I haven't actually done it ALL all summer long.  The excess has grown enough to become it's own entity.

Judah is happily bobbing up and down, up and down, up and down in his jolly-j this morning.  He's so cute.  It's been kind of a rough week for him as well.  It's just not fair that he's having to deal with the heat AND teething all at once.  I feel sorry for the little guy.  He's taking it pretty well, though, and I am still in possession of most of my sanity.

This hasn't been too bad of a week for eating properly.  I did kind of forget my rules on the weekend, though.  Really, you have to eat the food you take, even if you remember that oops! I wasn't going to eat that a split-second after it's on your plate.  But I am proud to say that I have not gone up for seconds once and have not enjoyed the camp desserts.  That in and of itself is an accomplishment to be proud of (for me). 

The summer is quickly coming to a close.  We've entered the scary land of Teen Weeks--I never did enjoy being a teenager.  The independence and responsibility? That was good.  But being constantly pressured to dress that way or act this way or do those things with boys (sheesh, even to have a boyfriend) is definitely not the ideal situation for a young Christian teen.  I am so glad that I am married and done with all that drama. 

Guess what?  I'm shirking my duties.  I am a duty shirker.  I really should be feeding my small child (and myself), putting him down for a nap, and greeting the day with a good attitude and a heart full of praise.  Maybe I should get on that.